David Danced, Poor William Pranced

(Clarksdale, Mississippi) By PONTIFICUS MINIMUS

I TOLD POOR WILLIAM NOT TO DO IT, but does he listen to me?

The porcine, powder-puffed poet just has to be “hisself!” I told the denuded, disrobed, Cavalier One that some folks around here are not gonna find his antics amusing.

He said, “It ain’t for all those folks, and if I want to expose my gargantuan medley of belly and pecks on my own website and my own Facebook page, then folks can either like it, hit the delete button, “unfriend” me on Facebook, never read the Delta Bohemian again, and if they show it to their elementary age children, who I don’t friend on Facebook, then shame on them for doing so, but don’t go whuppin’ on Poor William!”

Poor William, for his “snow odyssey” picture on his Facebook page, got in a bit of ecclesiastical trouble. I will not divulge anything here specifically, because we live in a small town and we do not want to bring any shame or denouncements on anyone.

Poor William sat down with me and discussed the genesis of his snow-romping, semi-nude (he was covered up more than most of the videos and magazines that the naysayers watch, wear at Moon Lake, or let their kids watch) SPOOF on FB and the Delta Bohemian.

He said that he missed the cold weather out West, where he often camped in heavy snow for several days, way up in the mountains at an elevation usually exceeding 9,000 ft. This is not the first time Poor William rolled his colossal carcass in the snow. Along with a whole continent of Scandinavians and Northern Europeans, he finds this to be refreshing.

Also, Poor William likes the cold for a myriad of reasons. He said when he went through a horrendous couple of years not long ago, while living in New Mexico and Colorado, that he would often seek the cold, as it was the one thing other than God’s Grace and faithfulness that let him know that he was indeed, alive!

When he was cold; he felt alive. God’s Grace, the love of family and close friends, along with “feeling alive” due to the cold, were the three things that let him know he was still alive. If he was still alive, then God still had plans for him.

Now, I can hear some folks saying, “Does Poor William think God’s plan was for him to roll his rotund self in the snow and then post it on Facebook and The DELTA BOHEMIAN?” No, Poor William doesn’t think that, but he does think God takes pleasure in the fun he has with his like-minded wife, who willingly shares his zest for living out of the proverbial box.

Anybody who knows Poor William knows he was born without some kind of governor that most folks have; just ask his family and his best friend John McKee for tales of whimsy involving the two. Poor William just can’t help himself at times, and according to his wife, best friend, and close friends: “That’s all right, because he doesn’t hurt anybody.”

Well, if you or your children were “hurt” or scarred from seeing him clothed in nothing but snow, a Frenchie cap, a wedding ring, and a “Reading Rocks” bracelet–he does wish it hadn’t been rainbow colored, but he found it out on Mr. Lil John McKee’s farm, and he thought if a “Reading Rocks” bracelet came from FRIARS POINT, then surely it had some good mojo–then he is truly sorry, but he will not allow religious positional authority to silence his right to be whomever he wants to be in his private life, particularly when no one is getting hurt.

However, he does have enough respect for church and autonomous school authority to not want to violate any of their precepts and codes of conduct, and if SPOOFING himself in a picture to promote his out-of-the-box website, which is intended to bring together locals and Bohemians everywhere who love the Mississippi Delta and who spend gargantuan amounts of money here, then he will do the inverse of Dylan Thomas’s admonition and, “Go gently into that good night–not literally I hope!”

Now, one might ask, what does this have to do with DAVID DANCING? Does Poor William really have the unmitigated gall to mention his name in the same title with the biblical King David, who God said he loved?

In 2 Samuel, Chapter 6, David and 30,000 chosen men of Israel were carefully bringing the ark of God, which contained the original Ten Commandments, back to Israel. David was so excited that he “was dancing before the Lord with all his might, and David was wearing a linen ephod.”

A linen ephod was not the equivalent of being butt-naked in the snow, but it was considered not to be appropriate attire for a king in public. No, Poor William does not see himself as a King–well, maybe the King of Folly!

David’s wife, Micah, the daughter of the previous King Saul, saw her husband from her window in the City of David and she despised him in her heart for not conducting himself as she thought he ought to!

Micah came out to meet David and said, “How the king of Israel distinguished himself today! He uncovered himself today in the eyes of his servant’s maids as one of the foolish ones shamelessly uncovers himself.”

David responded that he will indeed celebrate before the Lord and that he will even be less esteemed than this and humbled in his own eyes even more so. David cared not what man thought of him, only what his God thought of him.

David continued, “But with the maids of whom you have spoken, with them I will be distinguished.” David knew he was but dust when compared to God’s incomparable glory and he did not care what others thought of him and his antics if he did it “unto the Lord.”

David danced because he was joyful before the Lord; Poor William pranced in the snow because he was glad to be alive on a fresh, new day, and in his own mind, he did it unto the Lord and unto his wife who was the only one filming it!

Snow is cleansing; it slows life down so that relationships can be renewed and fostered, and it blankets our world with a silence we rarely share. The same silence that allows us to slow down and hear God’s small voice!

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as SNOW; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

The Lord forgives Poor William when he asks; he never wants to offend anyone if it can be helped, but he will prance and dance before the Lord when moved, and if it bothers others, then I hope they too will forgive him! Vaya con Dios!

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