Photo by DB

By Poor William
(Clarksdale, Mississippi)

Prior to the Christmas season, early this past December, Poor William and his lovely bride were invited to attend a celebration honoring a man who has done wonderful things in our community for decades, and done so selflessly and with little fanfare–a true philanthropist.

It was a lovely event held in a stately room. All the ladies were dressed to the hilt and the gentlemen all had suits and ties on. Poor William showed up in a pair of Dockers and a dress shirt. He sure felt out of place, but chose not to run home and get a coat and tie as he thought it would look worse and he was hungry.

After several minutes commiserating with his wife and his few friends who tried to make him feel better about being underdressed, and after having a calming and succulent libation, he felt better indeed.

The man being honored had done wonderful work over the years with the Boy Scouts of America, so most of the speeches and kudos addressed the Scouts. Becoming an Eagle Scout is no small feat and those boys who attain this rank and honor are usually the finest and industrious of lads.

All the past Scout members were asked to stand up and recite the Boy Scout Oath. Poor William never knew it very well when he wore the green uniform, but he sure butchered his way through it this time. I mouthed the words a half-second late like most of us grown men did, but the words are powerful:

On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.

The Boy Scout Law also sets the bar high (One likely unattainable for Poor William, present or future):

A Scout is:

* Trustworthy,
* Loyal,
* Helpful,
* Friendly,
* Courteous,
* Kind,
* Obedient,
* Cheerful,
* Thrifty,
* Brave,
* Clean,
* and Reverent.

Now, Poor William believes himself to be fairly trustworthy, loyal to family and close friends, helpful (but too often only when it benefits him), friendly, except when he ain’t, courteous, unless he’s mad, kind to elderly women, hot chicks, and the tamale vendor, obedient (whew, they had to go there), cheerful (I think so), thrifty (Oh no they didn’t), brave (well, if posing without clothes on in the snow counts, then, yeah!), clean (he bathes when it snows), and reverent (wow, The Scouts don’t make it easy).

One of the speakers said the crowd represented the “Who’s Who” in the northwest part of the state. Did they have any clue I was there? I looked around and my friends who know me well looked at me and grinned, as if saying, “Yea, We hear ya!” I was waiting for some tackle-size suited men to come escort me out at that point.

Well, in summation, Poor William was honored to be seated among such a fine crowd of folks, and though he may have only earned or stolen one merit badge, he WAS a member of the BEAVER PATROL!