Why Can’t I Still be a Pirate?

The Mississippi Delta Pirate Wedding in progress!

The Groom Poor William and his Best Man Mr. Lil John McKee gazing at a young lovely during the Mississippi Delta Pirate Wedding of The Delta Bohemians, Madge and Billy!!

(Clarksdale, Mississippi) By: Poor William

Being a swashbuckling pirate has long been a desire of Poor William’s. I remember as a child watching the suave and debonair Errol Flynn in his role as a pirate. The manner in which this buccaneer would swing from the mast and festively fence with soon to be dead swordsmen was nothing short of inspirational.

Poor William dressed up as a pirate for a recent Halloween and attended a bevy of parties with his pirate wench in tow. He was nothing short of a paragon of sartorial splendor. It’s good to be Poor William when the All Hallow’s Eve air is crisp and redolent, the pantaloons are airy, linen shirts with eyelets and drawstrings are billowing in the night breeze, and serving wenches play at his beck and call.

Poor William the Pirate is seen as no freak on Halloween. He is glamorous, legendary, confident, admired, feared, regaled for his swordsmanship, and known as Prince William, The Magnificent, The Able, The Noble, and The Ready, Duke of West Second and Master of all he surveys.

Chicks dig him and nefarious, salty, toothless rogues fear him, if only for one night. He swears allegiance to no man; the world before and aft belongs solely to him, and all booty is within his purview. His adversaries quake in his presence, and when run through with his saber, they die a bloody death in vain with the last sound they hear being, AAARGH!

His ornate jewelry and trinkets of conquest plundered from lesser men make Liberace’s habiliment appear passé. Yet his attire is still thought of as manly. He has no equal, yet he is loved by all his minions for his grace and goodness bestowed upon them for loyalty to their liege.

Now, does Poor William actually believe any of the vagaries splayed out before you? Well, no, not really, but wouldn’t it be grand to be a child again, with the hopes and dreams of accomplishing great things and to do so in a noble and commendable fashion.

There is an element of purity in the dreams and roles that young children assume. What young lady has not thought of being a princess, and what young man has not envisioned being a warrior who wins while still adhering to the “Marquess of Queensberry” rules, which dictate that fighting be fair.

Noblesse oblige is a concept used to imply that honorable behavior toward those less fortunate is an obligation that comes with privilege and rank. Poor William believes hidden in the heart of most young children is a desire to do noble deeds, to win fairly, and to treat others with the kindness that they would want extended to them.

Maybe if society would accept Poor William as a pirate on the day after Halloween, he would behave more gallantly toward those around him and the world would be a better place. AAARGH!

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  1. Alex Lundy says:

    “…all booty within his purview…” could be the predetermination of Poor William’s folly.

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