I Am a Gonna Do It! Bullshit!


I Am a Gonna Do It! Bullshit!



Poor William and Magical Madge between the Shack Up Inn and Hopson Commissary. Photo by The Delta Bohemian

Poor William and Magical Madge between the Shack Up Inn and Hopson Commissary. Photo by The Delta Bohemian


The other late evening began with Poor William laughing at “his ownself.” Him all knowing he was full of what Coach Artie Nute called “bullmalarkey.” Now, he does not bullshit to actually con folks into thinking something contrary to their own beliefs, nor does he bullshit–well, not too often–others to poke a hint of fun at them, and he surely does not bullshit just to bullshit. Okay, you can call “bullshit” on that one. Poor William does bullshit, but he does it so that his humor gauge stays full. He merely desires to enjoy the grandeur of a tale worth telling, and he craves the endorphin rush of a good belly laugh.

Poor William got caught the other night engaged in some prime-time bullshit by his lovely and “Smokin’ Hot Non-Nascar-Loving, Loving Wife.” (see video below) I think it went something like this: “I’ma gonna go clean up the whole rest of the house in five minutes!”

Poor William, Please? You ain’t gonna clean up one damn thing, much less the whole house.

Okay, all I am doing is buying time to see if I will do it, just hoping something’s gonna change.

Hell, I mean that. I want to do the right thing, dream vociferously (y’all know that’s me talking) about doing the right thing, and really mean to do the right thing, but all that selflessness and being others-centered can wear on a fellow. It’s hard work doing right, and I just don’t want to work too damn hard; it’s too damn tiring.

The Magical One replied, “You just say whatever, and you really mean it, in a good way…”

She said this in response to my throwing a Wendy’s Frosty spoon wrapper on the floor instead of the trashcan two feet away, which would have not even required my feet to move.

“You just want to eat the ice cream and are not worrying about the wrapper,” Madge on how I approach life. “I love you, admire you, and am fascinated by you, but I can’t ever seem to grasp what it is like to look out of your eyes.”

I probably qualify as pathetic, but I really do think that I will do the thing I promised. I mean to do it; I want to do it. I do.

Madge said, “You know you not going to but you really do have your heart in the right place.”

But I might, I really might do it. And I know that makes me a sorry human being for not doing it.

Madge then asked, “But, what does that mean for me?”

Well, you got a selfish husband. Who’s cute though; he’s cute. And, as long as he is making you laugh, you’ll keep him around?” That’s why they call me “BillMe” Howell. I am a psychologist, at least in my own mind.

Poor William got caught with the pristine knowledge that he bullshits a bit; everybody knows it; we just don’t want to talk about it. And, he don’t want to work too hard doing the right thing, but he wants to do the right thing; long as he ain’t got to work too hard–and that is why he’s Bohemian!

RADIOLAND: an audio wasteland

Random recordings. Always spontaneous. Never planned.

 Listen to the RADIOLAND audio on the video below!

Watch the “Best prayer EVER! Pastor Joe Nelms – Nascar Nationwide” as seen on YouTube.

Follow Poor William on Twitter @deltabohemian.


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  1. Eddie Elenburg says:

    Now I Learned from an old truck driver years ago ( ’cause I’ve been know to B-S just a little)

    “Bullshit belongs in the trailor and Not in the cab!”

    Enjoy ya’ll bringing “HOME” closer to me

  2. Not Bull Malarkey P.W. “HorseFeathers”. Hate to correct a Bro!!!

  3. BullllllShittttt!!!— I know better. Don’t get me started. UM? Oxford? Apartment? Car? Frat Parties?,ect.,ect.,ect. U.S. Army???

  4. Dennis "Jack" Parker says:

    I understand that animals are kept in the trailer and that the animals instincts can be found in the cab of the truck. Just saying.

  5. O.K. How about Horse-Feathers and Bull-Malarkey?
    “Give Him Six” C-A. Nute -vs-I.A. Another Ass-Whippin administered by a Purty-Damn Good ball club. Gave up 36 points all season.
    “The Cream will rise to the Crop” C-B.R. Harber. Pre-game @ Prep. Senior year. Likewise! See above for the Ass Whippin line.
    “McKee!!! Get your ass in there and give Lucas a BLOW”. C- N. Clark. Every game. Gold capped teeth and all.

  6. Mark Lucas says:

    Coach Nute – “Y’all stank!”

    • Marcus, you brought back a flood of memories with just two words! Awesome! Remember the one about the virgin birth? Regarding teens getting pregnant in the 1970’s, he said regarding the concept of virgin birth, “That ain’t how it happened.” Regarding folks who see visions, he mentioned in Bible class, “They saw visions alright, from drinking Budweiser!”

  7. I forgot that one Mark! Was a favorite of his. Just think, it has been 34 years since Nick sent McKee in to “Give you A Blow”. Just kidding J.B.

  8. Lil John says:

    It’s up to y’all; you can either be 6-0….or you can be 6-1….it’s up to y’all.

    Pride…ya’ll go get em.

  9. I’m falling out of my chair J.B.!!! Quit!!!

  10. little blood, lotta sweat,FEW TEARS, do u want to give it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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