The Elephant’s Graveyard – A Poem Written in 3 Stages

THE ELEPHANT’S GRAVEYARD: TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN, TOO FAR FROM THE SON, RESTORED BY THE SON a poem written in three stages by Slim Gravy

Elephant’s Graveyard – Slim Gravy at JourneyPure at The River Recovery Center

I kinda disappeared for a month. I was in a treatment facility in Eastern, TN as a result of not having dealt with some things from my past. Acute anxiety, depression and substance abuse finally and thankfully caught up with me! Not to belabor the issue, but I had progressively been sinking since early summer. My life on the surface was filled with a myriad of goodness and things to be thankful for, yet I was miserable—frighteningly so… On Sunday, September 10^th, I cried out to God and he answered, promptly. My wife Madge, and a bevy of good friends and family quickly came to the rescue, and I found myself inside what had long been my greatest nightmare and daydream—a facility designed to confine my freedom.

What was, I thought, to be my darkest valley, ended up being my temporal salvation! God be praised! In-treatment saved my life, gave me life and imbued me with hope for a new life—substance free! I let life get sideways for way too damn long, and though I believed in God and knew He could help anybody, I was not humble and present enough to think He would help me! He did!

What follows was written in three parts: the first in April 2018 was when I was in a manic state coming out of winter, the second was written in early September when life and my own dysfunction had swamped me (SEE: Take Me To the River When I Am Depressed), and the final was written a week or so ago.

All I am able to write is what I know, think I know or experience, so I am sharing this for those who helped me, wrote me, encouraged me, prayed for me, or just wondered where in the hell I had gone. I am not ashamed; now fully realizing I have serious addiction issues, along with lifelong depression and anxiety. I am thankful to be in recovery, substance free, participating in Intensive Outpatient Treatment and attending Narcotic’s Anonymous meetings daily.

I judge no one, but I am fully aware that I must remain substance free for the rest of my life in order to be healthy, happy, constructive and productive!

This is dedicated to Madge, Bryan, Corinne, Elizabeth, Felicia, Savannah, Jeff, Bill, Kelsey, Jeremy, Chase, Dustin, Justin, Glen, Chuck, Joe, John, David, Russ, Julie, Keoni, Keith, Dr. W, Dr. C, Jamie, Mary Catherine, Joey, Rex, Chantelle, Kyle, Brian, Jeff, Margaret, Jane H, Carlos, David, Simba, Chris, Alex, Luke, Twiggy (R.I.P.), April, Jamie, MJ, Sandi, Denia, Frunko, Kim, Sparky, Nancy, Sandy, Ed, Shauna, Whitney, Mike, Glenn, Ransom, Jill, Renee, Cliff, every speaker, Recovery Coach and staff member at JourneyPure-The River, everybody else I forgot to mention here and the guy who cut my hair after about nine years with a pony tail! All y’all are important threads in my recovery and budding sanity! Cheers! Chilly, a.k.a. Slim Gravy  

APRIL 2018: I flew too close to the sun today. Sometimes things just work out that way. When wings are spread, neck craned and winter’s dormancy sheds its mane, spring burgeons brightly rending hibernation’s complacency. New growth bursts forth, pains of labor shattering winter’s easy dealings as longer days thin blood amidst spring’s warm awakening!  Life renews! Hope restored! Healthy things grow! But, it ain’ always easy!  I live in the elephant’s graveyard, where the sun seems to always shine, where clouds appear as grey memories, flitting across the landscape, littered with bleached bones, plucked clean of all the mean!

EARLY SEPT: I slowly sink toward unknown depths, air hard to find in the stifling mire, no gills, chest about to burst heavy-laden with liquid sacs of cerise sorrow…

OCT. EARLY: In-treatment the cure, dark roads turned brilliant, vulnerability the key, petitions answered promptly, Him who is able answers timely, friends and family my juggernaut, hope restored, sins forgiven, diseases healed, extraction from the pit, love and compassion crowned, restoration imminent and ongoing; God be thanked!

Elephant’s Graveyard – Slim Gravy getting his hair cut

Elephant’s Graveyard – Slim Gravy – New Look New Life

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