Sneakin’ Up on Lazy

By Poor William

Billy Poor William Howell thinking on a pier overlooking Moon Lake in the Mississippi Delta near Clarksdale. Photo by The Delta Bohemian

TWO VIDEOS

“I’m not lazy; I’m just a deep thinker.”

Poor William battles an array of internal issues. In fact, they are legion, too many to count. Several have to do with poor self-discipline, a lack of tenacity when trying to push away from the table, and trouble delaying gratification.

In similar fashion to the late James Brown, “I like to feel good, look good, eat good, make love good, drink good, make love good and eat good”—had to say “make love good and eat good” twice, because I like to make love and eat, a lot.

It ain’t easy being Poor William. He has too many emotions and sometimes they are not tempered by reason, though he seems to think reasonably unless he doesn’t. He believes himself to be a rationale thinker, who just happens to be ruled by his emotions. Emotions unchecked lead to indulgence. He knows this.

Lately, like the last four months, Poor William has scarcely worked out, even after shredding 32 pounds in four months. He ain’t lazy; he’s just tired and “stuff” hurts. He has put on 15 pounds since the shredding and he don’t be feeling so good.

When he made great strides in the spring, he just pounced into the different-way-of-living arena, but this time, it’s not working. He is troubled, vexed, and eating like a wolfhound with a tapeworm.

No longer possessing the agile moves of the jungle cat, he is devising a new plan to get back on track.

This time he’s going to have to sneak up on lazy. Surprise attack. No frontal assault, only stealth. Lazy must not know he is coming like a ninja in the darkest night. Lazy will never know what hit it when Poor William assails it with all his “re-fangled” ideas.

He can’t let Lazy know that he is sneaking up on it. If Lazy gets wind of it, he will beat him down early and all that will be left of Poor William is Lazy!

So, Poor William has begun the stealth campaign to defeat the indolence that has engulfed him. He will yet emerge as Poor William the Conqueror, but he must do so very carefully, so as not to awaken Lazy.

One less Scotch, one less carbohydrate, one less late-night meal, and Lazy might not even know what hit it.

Then, Poor William will yet again be the Teutonic Warrior of his youth, able to leap into rushing, frigid river water without pulling a muscle, able to get out of the bathtub without a construction crane, and able to digest mass amounts of leafy, green, raw vegetables without irritability.

Look out Lazy, Poor William is on the move. Shhh.

WAIT, WAIT, Magical Madge and Mr. Lil John are going with Grand Master Willie P to see Snoop Dogg at The Lyric in Oxford on Friday night. The sneak attack must wait until afterwards. Willie P has to get his “Gin and Juice” fade on by Friday, so the Jungle Cat must remain lair-bound until Snoop goes home. But then, it’s on…

WE HIGHLY ENCOURAGE COMMENTS!!

VIDEO of James Brown being interviewed on CNN.
Circa 2007.

VIDEO – Eddie Murphy from SNL as James Brown – HOT TUB