Coahoma County Chupacabra: A True Story by the Poorest of Williams

Coahoma County Chupacabra "Dandy"

Coahoma County Chupacabra “Dandy”

By POOR WILLIAM

(CLARKSDALE, Mississippi)

I swear I saw him. Last night. Skittering under the hedge. Head big as a fire hydrant, body smooth as a Chihuahua. He had been suckin’ blood from a goat. I know he was, ‘cause that’s what they do. They suck goat blood at night when nobody’s lookin’! Well, I was lookin’!

We ain’ big on goat sucking ‘round here. Hell, we ain’ big on goats! They rope goats in Texas, usually wearing brush-popper shirts with colors not known in nature, but ‘round here, we don’ cotton to goats. ‘Member that ole Judas goat in the Bible?

Satan was a goat too, after he was a water moccasin. How do I know he was a moccasin, ‘cause ain’ no snake mean and nasty as a moc. I saw one on a video swallow a big-ass rattlesnake like he was a foot-long corn dog at a festival.

Well, I saw that smooth-and-nasty-grayish thing right after that fellow in Leake County said he killed one. Mine was bigger. A lot bigger.  Coahoma County Chupacabra didn’t have no name. And didn’t have no mange. Hell no I didn’t shoot him. Boswell said it’s bad luck to kill a Choochoocabras, that’s what Boswell calls ‘em!

Said he shot a herd of ‘em when he was working down on the Arizona border. We ain’t real sure Boswell ever been to Arizona, and he ain’ much on workin’, but he is Boswell, and if he says he slew a bunch of choochoocabras, then maybe it’s so…

 


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