Have You Ever Challenged Yourself? Check out The Beginning of Poor Williams Most Excellent Adventure and Reflections on Personal Relativity

Have You Ever Challenged Yourself?

Check out The Beginning of Poor William’s

Most Excellent Adventure


Reflections on Personal Relativity


Photo by The Delta Bohemian

Photo by The Delta Bohemian

Poor William has been inspired by a recent meeting with two cool brothers from England. Dave Cornthwaite, adventurer extraordinaire, who has set numerous world records and plans many more, happened through Coahoma County while standing on a paddleboard. His brother, Andy, a Royal Air Force Pilot (RAF) joined him on this leg of the journey.

Dave is traveling on a device, which looks like a sailboat that has been flattened into a surfboard, the entire length of the Mississippi River from its source in Minnesota all the way to the Gulf of Mexico! This sojourn of mythic and record-breaking proportions is not for the timid and tepid souls Teddy Roosevelt spoke of. No, ladies and gentlemen! In Delta parlance, “Dave don’t play!”

Dave came up with a noble, novel, and extremely lofty plan known as Expedition1000. This project will entail Dave making a series of 25 journeys of at least 1,000 miles in length, each one using a different method of non-motorized transportation–no internal combustion engine of any nature.

Also, Dave will be attempting to raise 1-million pounds for two charities. For more on Dave’s story, read the Poor William’s Whim called, “A Bohemian Encounter with British Adventurer Cornthwaite: Dave Does the Mississippi River from Stem to Stern on a Standup Paddleboard.” Be sure and check out the photos, audio, and video of his landing in our midst. This DUDES for real.

Poor William is embracing Dave’s “challenge-himself” nature and is setting his own short-term goals. Yes, he has decided to take his own fat, lazy self to task. The rotund opiner has challenged himself and he has answered himself resolutely. He shall wallow no longer in his own self-loathing, comfort-thyself-and-be-satiated-you-rogue-you whiner of mythic proportions. Inspired by the lads from London, Poor William has yodeled back at the mountain, serving it notice that he will rise as the cream above Maryland countryside butter. A little dramatic it is, but just go with me here a minute.

Poor William, beginning on August 23, 2011, will be engaging in his own project series. Simultaneously, over the next 30 days, he will:

–Write 27 character-description stories based on fictional-but-believable Delta Characters. Each story will be at least 1,000 words in length and each will be well developed and in novel form.

–Refrain from eating after 8pm at night for 27 days.

–Work out 27 times.

–Read the 27 books found in the New Testament.

–Make love 27 times. I had to think about writing this one for more than a bit, but there it is. The challenge just got amped up a bit and I know “good company” will likely never favor me with an invite again, but sometimes you just gotta walk out a ways on the Pirate’s Plank and just hope the sharks don’t get ya, or you fall off from exhaustion. No details will be given unless one of the British tabloids offers me more money than they offered Princess Fergie.

Structure and Challenges: Poor William needs both. As much as he yearns to be unfettered and free, he knows he needs structure in order to be free. Now, that’ll make an Aggie think (Come on Bulldog fans; y’all know you enjoy all that Ole Miss versus Mississippi State jawing).

One may astutely and correctly asks, “Poor William, say why do you always call yourself Poor William? Say Dude, get over yourself!” Poor William, why do you think anyone would give a rat’s ass about what your little old goals? Are you a total megalomaniac? Why don’t you write about somebody else sometime? And, while I am at it, “I am tired of seeing you partially naked! Gross! What gives Dude?”

Well, Dude, Poor William will briefly answer your questions. Okay, first question, I refer to myself in most of my writings in the third-person singular rather than the first-person singular. I do it to imitate preachers and politicians who do so, and somehow in doing so I guess I can stay a bit detached from my vulnerable expressions for the sake of self-protection.

I don’t think anyone will care about reading about my goals; I really don’t, but I do hope if I am successful that it will communicate to others that the Dave’s of the world do make a difference. If Poor William, oops, I mean I, can set a challenge of the right proportions and achieve it, then most of the human race can do so.

I am thoroughly undisciplined and love to eat, drink, and live large, so anything that checks my extremes is a good thing. If I can do it, then most anybody can challenge himself or herself to engage in behaviors designed to make us just plain better people.

Why do I not write about others? I am writing about somebody else here, though I write about myself often because I guess I trip my own self out and I am accessible for an interview. Plus, if I don’t like what I say, I can change it and it’s still me saying it. Hmmm!

Regarding the partial nudity, do I think I look good? No! But, I don’t have to pay myself to pose and I reckon I occasionally like ratcheting it up a notch. I am sure there are those who find these thoughts and behaviors indicative of rebelliousness, the 14-letter word guaranteed to send even good boys and girls to hell. Now, I am not advocating rebellion-for-rebellion’s sake, but too often being different than the cultural pack can have one being labeled as rebellious, a tough label to ever shake in an unshakeable culture.

I need structure so that I am disciplined enough to meet a challenge. Structure is as necessary to challenge as the dominant culture is to true freedom. Meaning, in order to achieve high goals we have set for ourselves we need to be disciplined, and in order to be truly free, there has to be a dominant, even stoic culture in place to help define freedom.

Am I afraid of failing this one? Absolutely, but I refuse to keep letting my fear of failure to remain unanswered. It is time to challenge myself. If I can become more disciplined and holistically healthy, then I likely will be a better contributing member of the human race, as well as a better husband, father, friend, employee, and of course, love machine! pw


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  1. Boy!,Boy!,Boy!—-I guess I got all of that. Just thought I was scatter-brained. Shit!!!

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