Buddha and Bubba: Two Peas in a Complicated Pod

Poor William - The Delta Bohemian

Poor William – The Pobreian

By Poor William, a.k.a. The Pobreian

(Clarksdale, Mississippi)  VIDEO IN POST  – A firm believer in the effectiveness of one living a righteous life, if he or she will adhere to the tenets of Judeo-Christian precepts and principles, I am not in the least uncomfortable with some of the practical wisdom found in some of Ole Mista Buddha’s quotes, or at least those attributed to him. I just don’t believe they are efficacious for eternal salvation.

So, I ain’ hatin’ on Buddha or his ism; I think his desire to be at peace with the world, hisself, and all creation is a fine thing in this temporal life down here, I just find it very difficult to reconcile with the life of a Bubba, and most of us males down in the Delta got Bubba all up in us, even Mr. Lil John’s Delta Strutters.

Now, I ain’ sayin’ there needs to be a Buddha-Versus-Bubba, to-the-death-chicken-coop grudge match, but I ain’ opposed to it either. Sadly, we do grudges down South and we light matches, even when we are not supposed to.

To the best of my knowledge the Buddhist don’t be puttin’ no fatwahs on folks who jest about them—in jest—so, here I jest sit and jest! “Cause a fatwah will get yo ass kilt graveyard dead.

Ole Mista Buddha, chunk his ass in a brier patch and like Brer Rabbit, he likely not to mind at all, but throw Poor William’s ass in a briar patch, and what do you get,? A bloody fat ass, a lot of moaning, and a fellow who ain’t real at peace with the world. Mista Buddha got me on that one!

Poor William - The Probeian - The Delta Bohemian

Poor William – The Probeian – The Delta Bohemian

Buddha say: “To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.”

Bubba say: “To be idle must pay off, ‘cause I see folks fat as Ole Mista Buddha with no jobs, tax refunds when they ain’t put no cookies in the cookie jar, idly watchin’ TV, drinking cold beer in big-ass containers, talking shit and chewin’ the fat in public with they bluetoofuses, so even the hearing impaired take note, and all this 24/7!

So, Bubba think idle ain’ all bad, plus, being Bubba and all, idleness kinda equals our heritage. And, truth be told, the only difference in them idle folks up above is that Bubba puts more cookies in the jar than he takes out, but he ain’ in the least bit afraid of cold beer, watchin’ the TV some or the backyard bug zapper, talkin’ shit, and eatin’ pulled pork with a hint of fat meat!

Speakin’ of fat meat, Bubba don’ have a problem with veterinarians, he likes to eat vegetables too, but he does have a hard time not eatin’ what he kills or what others have killed, particularly if it’s grilled. And Bubba ain’ racist: he likes dark meat, white meat, red meat, pink meat; hell, he just likes meat, and he ain’ opposed to chewing on a Hotties ear, if she smells pretty good! I don’t reckon Ole Mista Buddha did a whole lot of ear chewin’, and unlike Mike Tyson, Bubba as a rule chews on ears-of-a-different gender.

He will also tell you that any of the above, if cooked just right, tastes just like a pilfered chicken. And, Bubba ain’ like his Texan relative Billy Bob who likes his steak fried and his chicken grilled; Bubba likes his steak grilled and his chicken fried.

And one ancient tale has Ole Mista Buddha supposedly in one of his kajillion-like lives being a rabbit who came across a lost, starving hunter in the woods. He felt so sorry for the ravenous, meat scavenger that he shook the fleas off his body—didn’t want to hurt them—before he jumped into the flames to offer himself as a meal.

Now, Bubba ain’t jumping into no fire unless he’s been drinking whiskey straight, someone threw in his last pinup of Dannica Patrick or his Mississippi Aggie season tickets, he was double-dawg dared, or he was reaching for a piece of meat that looked kinda like a singed rabbit.

Y’all be good! Ya hear! And remember, Bubba and Buddha are more alike than they are different–just like the rest of us! Celebrate constancy and diversity and the constancy of diversity!

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  1. frank mckenna says:

    Billy , if ever i had doubts as to your mental stabilty , well lets just say that they are no longer doubts .

  2. Frank, glad I could eliminate any lingering questions!!! ::))

  3. William, since I left Mississippi I don’t often hear Southern politickin’ and religion anymore. It’s kind of refreshing. I just know that this poor Bubba can’t put enough cookies in that cookie jar all by herself to make it up there to live with all those idle folk-this Bubba needs the cookie maker hisself to come put enough cookies in for me. And I don’t plan to give up partyin’ and havin’ fun up there neither! There’s a wild and crazy weddin’ goin’ on up there!

  4. Jo Baker says:

    Thank you so much for the demonstration of the reknown “Viper in the bowels of Howell”. It is a clean classic move. I had hear of it in folklore, seen it protrayed in art form, but had never actually seen it. I might be able to help with the painful “Tennis-itis” . If you would like to try a band to help with the pain, please send your request to me .
    [email protected]

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